The Parable of the Beemer (Epistle VIII)

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Recovered memory: My personal malaise lasted deep into the eighties. I wanted to be an author and I refused to face the reality that it wasn’t happening for me. One day, in desperation, I approached a college professor. Let’s call him “Bob.” I was in my late 30s and I told Bob I was considering going ...

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No Place for Old Street-Fightin’ Men (Epistle VII)

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Yes my noble Threes, six epistles later and we’re finally telling our story. How we saved the ‘rents from being Yumpies (though Yuppiedom is not that much better). You know the rest: You were there, goddammit! You were, like, three years old, and you asked in all your innocence, “Where do babies come from?” And instead of ...

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Animal Spirits of the Yuppies  (Epistle VI)

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It’s understandable that no one wanted to give Ronald Reagan credit for rescuing the economy. He was affable, confident, handsome, and could communicate with people in everyday language; he didn’t have academic credentials and he was patriotic: Obviously he was an empty-headed dolt. He didn’t do anything: The economy was due to recover anyway… Or it ...

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Voodoo Econ for Millennium 3 (Epistle V)

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You’ve probably heard of Voodoo economics, but may not understand exactly what they are or how to put them to use for your benefit. As we know now, voodoo is cool; without voodoo there’d be no zombies. But the 1980s was a zombie-deprived decade and people actually used the term “economic voodoo” to disparage Ronald ...

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The Flower-Power Abdication (Epistle IV)

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It was the most amazing revolution in economic history! Simply because nobody noticed. Oh sure, there was talk of the “Reagan Revolution,” where, supposedly, “morning in America” washed the malaise right out of our hair—and ended the cold war—easier than you can say “Reykjavik.” That is a simplistic reading, which doesn’t take into account the Boomers’ ...

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The Slough of Malaise (Epistle III)

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Your Twos—have you ever noticed how excited they get when the subject of the Kennedy assassination comes up? They start chirping and yipping about where they were, what they were doing, what they remember. Big nostalgia dump for them; nausea-inducing for everyone else. What they don’t tell you is what they were doing the next day, ...

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Like a Boomer (Epistle II)

Parents of boomers--cruisin' thru the '50s

Remember when they made you read The People’s History of the United States in high school? Depressing, wasn’t it? Everything’s wrong. It’s all our fault—every action stems from a base motive and inevitably harms someone more deserving. What a lesson. How can anyone live, carrying a burden like that? I guarantee it was a Boomer that ...

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The Oldest Millennial (Epistle I)

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This is the year when the curtain starts coming down on the Baby Boom Generation. Boomers, according to the Pew Research Center, will be overtaken in 2015 by Millennials as the largest demographic in the U.S. I saw it coming last October when my daughter turned 21 and I became eligible for Social Security: No way ...

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